Tommy DOG (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} revmutt) wrote,@ 2007-05-23 10:42:00 |
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"ghosts of princes in towers"
Yesterday I got sucked into a chain E-mail involving kids I went to grade school with.
The whole thing seemed at first to be sweet because these are the kids I grew up with and in many ways knew for a longer period of time then people I met after.
As I sifted through my memories I began to remember what felt like a dual life at the time. I was a school kid, safely in a group of peers who I had known since I was 3 and on the flipside I had this part of my life that was about music that was on one level private and on another was about my devoloping outside of this world that I had been a part of.
During the day I was just a kid with learning disabilities trying to charm my way by. In the afternoon into the evening I was exploring the grooves on records, trying to undo the tension. I sang and wrote songs but I was shy about that so I did clay animation which I showed people. Between the age of about 10 and 12 my inner world was become so much more of how I felt that I began using a different name and my clothing slowly mutated from dressing up to what I could only describe as dressing out.
I was alone in my universe. I shared my thoughts on music with the people behind the counter in record stores. Punk was it, Bowie was still on an up swing, Zappa was about the only person with long hair who was cool. The Beatles were a bit of my childhood and may have opened my ears but now The Dead Boys and The Stooges came climbing in. Generation X, Sham 69, The New York Dolls, The Velvets, Suicide... It all rushed in, first slowly then with tremedous force.
I felt free but cut off from who I was supposed to be. The person I was promised would be me, happy, liberal, Jewish and Middleclass couldn't relate to my feelings.
Yesterday I got sucked into a chain E-mail involving kids I went to grade school with.
The whole thing seemed at first to be sweet because these are the kids I grew up with and in many ways knew for a longer period of time then people I met after.
As I sifted through my memories I began to remember what felt like a dual life at the time. I was a school kid, safely in a group of peers who I had known since I was 3 and on the flipside I had this part of my life that was about music that was on one level private and on another was about my devoloping outside of this world that I had been a part of.
During the day I was just a kid with learning disabilities trying to charm my way by. In the afternoon into the evening I was exploring the grooves on records, trying to undo the tension. I sang and wrote songs but I was shy about that so I did clay animation which I showed people. Between the age of about 10 and 12 my inner world was become so much more of how I felt that I began using a different name and my clothing slowly mutated from dressing up to what I could only describe as dressing out.
I was alone in my universe. I shared my thoughts on music with the people behind the counter in record stores. Punk was it, Bowie was still on an up swing, Zappa was about the only person with long hair who was cool. The Beatles were a bit of my childhood and may have opened my ears but now The Dead Boys and The Stooges came climbing in. Generation X, Sham 69, The New York Dolls, The Velvets, Suicide... It all rushed in, first slowly then with tremedous force.
I felt free but cut off from who I was supposed to be. The person I was promised would be me, happy, liberal, Jewish and Middleclass couldn't relate to my feelings.
